SYF silver. No worries. It's really not the end-result, but the journey in getting there. I love the ensemble, and they've filled my Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays with much love and care. Love love TJGuitar. So proud to be a part of it :)
***
So, our eyes met - for like 3 seconds. well, that was an advancement. 'Cause there was a slight attempt to smile on both parts I guess. And I've been asking around about how he is as a person. So far, not bad. I just hope I don't expect too much. I dont know, it really seems empty on my part, 'cause I have no one to text to when Im bored, to go out with and to share half of my heart with. Ive been lonely for too long, i need company too. But, too bad or otherwise, we're still not talking yet.
I hope we get to interact in the nearest time.
There's something about you which I strongly feel I need to know. Please read my mind, please please please.
I really shouldn't be doing up a blog at this point in time. Not when it's in the midst of SYF, A level year and all the what nots. But trust me, at times blogs could be pretty much an escapade for the distressed mind and soul. Well, I could at least express my views and sentiments out instead of bottling and bubbling them up in a whole jar of emotions. 'Cause not everyone in school can truly understand us without giving sceptical comments. It does bother you, don't it? You're willing to lend a listening ear when a friend pours out her stories and troubles, but when you mention a bit part of your life, she leaves you with no chance but gets right back at you. Too bad school life isn't always pleasing.
There are exceptions, of course. Call it playing hard-to-get,crush, stranger whatever. I do wish to know why do you look at me that way, or maybe it's not just at me. Still, call it exaggerating, but I could feel your stare burning right through me. What do you want from me? Do you want to be friends? Do you think I'm weird? Do you think of me and fantasize? What? Your stares could really mean a thousand and one things, and I'm just too curious to know. To be honest, it started out a little uncomfortable, but with you, staring at me the same way everyday makes me feel like it's become a part of my school routine to have you around and look at me that way. A day without you looking out for me makes me feel incomplete. I'm not being an attention-seeker, but I do admit that I do love a little attention here and there. It may sound insane, but people tend to react insanely at times.
This may sound all harmless, but is staring all we're capable of? I want to see you smiling at me because a little hi could be a little too much to ask. A sincere smile would be enough to make my day. Stop staring and start smiling, really. I want us to be friends, but I just can't initiate a moment where I could even say a friendly 'hi' like how I could always say. What's hindering me, I don't even know.
We could probably explore a whole new things together if we actually know each other. Just think of the opportunities ahead that could be enjoyed and shared.
I do daydream a lot, but if daydreams could be a reality, why not?
I could have never been able to express this out to anyone, no, too embarrassing,too complexed. No one probably understands, they probably think it sounds ludicrous and I should just fall back to reality. well, here's my part of the story. I hope I'm reading the correct signals from you, otherwise I'm officially in my own world of fantasy.
Please give me a sign to show that we have the same thoughts. A smile would mean a lot.
